A Honeymoon Redo

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Photos by: Brandy Meredith

When my husband and I got married, we took our honeymoon in Panama City Beach, Florida. It was the first time he had ever been out of the state of Kentucky and the first time in years for me. I was so excited to be able to show him the ocean. The ocean is just something you can’t completely grasp without seeing it. No amount of pictures can prepare you for the vastness and beauty of water that stretches to the horizon.

When we got there, he was so excited. I was too. I couldn’t wait to get my toes in the sand and have the best ten days of our lives. We went straight to our condo on the 27th floor and I dragged him directly to the balcony that overlooked the Gulf of Mexico. It was stunning. The sun was low in the sky and was casting golden rays across the water. We were like two kids on Christmas morning. We didn’t know what to do first.

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Photos by: Brandy Meredith

After visiting the beach and checking out the rest of the resort, we went back to our condo for dinner and a few drinks.  As we sat on the balcony drinking, my husband began to feel strange. His fear of heights suddenly went from making him uncomfortable to making him terrified. He was having trouble breathing, and he couldn’t sleep. The next day was much of the same. He told me he felt like he was losing his mind, and he didn’t know what was wrong, but he felt like he needed to leave. He was terrified constantly and didn’t have an explanation for his feelings. The only time he felt calm was when he was in the water. 

After three days of me bouncing back and forth between being angry that he was “ruining our honeymoon” and being concerned and doing everything I could to calm him down, he finally begged me to take him home. As it turned out, he had been having a panic attack. It lasted for three straight days because he was so far from home, in an unfamiliar place, he had no idea what was going on, and he literally thought he was going crazy. All of that only intensified the panic and prolonged the attack until he learned what was happening to him.

He is now very used to his anxiety symptoms. He had never had anxiety before that trip, but has suffered from it ever day during the two years since. But now that he knows what it is and how to handle it, we are very anxious to “redo” our honeymoon.

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